Moving and moving on.

It's raining and I'm taking my second sick day in a row off work.

I love it when it rains in Sacramento. It makes me feel like I'm in front of a hearth, warmed by a fire. Even when I'm not. Inexplicable, right?

Anyways, the real reason I'm posting is because for the first time, I've been looking seriously at apartments. I'm getting paid on Tuesday, and depending on the size of that check, I could move fairly soon. Combinatorial, I'll be getting my first credit card in a few days, which could help with my moving situation too. So, moving has been on my mind. I won't be making a ton of money right out, but just the desire is enough for me to just jump the gun so I can get my own place and not worry about silly things like a couch or dinner table.

The desire is to make my life my own, and that is happening.

I have a good job that I can do decently (well enough to avoid getting fired). It's made me think back to school and how much I hated certain parts of it. How, if it came down to just exams, I'd have failed out.

Every so often, I get the feeling like I'm at a cusp. Graduation oddly didn't feel this way. Going to Miami the first time definitely did, but leaving somehow felt like things didn't end. Maybe because I chose to not walk. Dunno. Back then, it was a shock, and I sent an email to a bunch of people all at once. The only response I got was from my high school French teacher.

But moving out, with the pressure low and the first storm in seemingly over a year in Sacramento looming, does. Realizing that for the most part I'm already financially independent. Realizing that soon, we'll start to fill our living rooms with playpen balls. That soon, we will have what we choose. Not the corporate townhouse with a million plasma tv screens, or the rural cabin with no manner of communication, but our future. Just seems so... foreign.

It reminds me of how many people at my work seem to have such a singular track. I know that when I say I work ten or eleven hours a day, people assume the same from me. I know that there is an expectation from those in my position to push themselves harder and further just from the opportunities to do so.

Anyways, this is just me rambling. I know I have it good and I'm not trying to rub it in anyone's face. I'm trying to preserve the moment so that in six months, I can look back and see how naive i was.