McCain is a douche.

Meta blogging

Fractals are kick ass anyone want to experiment in making one- this is a brush pallate reminds me of electric sheep

Science is fun!

WIN.

Huge Breakthrough in Fish Cancer Research!

Why don't you guys ever comment on my articles? I know it was a hook line and sinker, but i thought maybe if I tailgated steph's article maybe you guys would actually read it?

Tell me why you don't discuss... in the discussion!

Blogs, Comments, and the lack of faith in humanity

Now as this it endeavor itself is a blog, this is a tad hypocritical. Maybe since most of "our" comments are meant in jest or corrallation, it might not be as bad. But I find that the more comments i read on blogs or posts, especially targeted at "Middle America" I find my trust in the better nature of humans falling in each in every post. maybe its the painful realization, that now that I'm out side of the collegiate, academic and traditionally socalily liberal environment, I don't understand those who are convinced anyone who is not, 1) Christian, 2) Republican, 3) Pro- life, and 4) Creationist is insane and not worth being human. Maybe it's just Cincinnati, or Ohio, or the Midwest, but this is not the environment I can see myself growing into a valued member of society.
If you ever feel like testing this theory, that If one reads comments, ip so facto, one becomes disgusted with humans. Let's test it any day on let's say the reputable newspaper of the Cincinnati Enquirer. This is but one example, but any article from as mundane as announcements are fraught with what I consider reasons to leave and emigrate to Britain or Germany. I might do that anyway.

Tool, indeed.

I keep seeing commercials for this ridiculous object:

It's a shower pouf. Or a mesh sponge. Axe calls it a "Detailer Shower Tool," because putting it into the vocabulary of cars and machinery and packaging it like a Craftsman tape measure makes it butch. It costs around three or four times what a mesh sponge costs.

[[On a small (potentially insignificant?) scale, this is an illustration of a concept I have encountered many times in feminist discourses. In order to gain power, subjugated groups sometimes strive to be like the (perhaps misguided) dominant group, e.g., women take to wearing clothing traditionally only worn by men (pants), or otherwise aspire to seem more like men (shoulder pads) in order to be seen as their equal. It is much less likely that a dominant group will strive to take on the characteristics of a subjugated group ([most] men don't aspire to dress like women). In other words, taking the simplistic example of attire, there has been a gradual equalizing over several decades of the types of clothing it is acceptable for men and women to wear. Both have shirts and pants and shorts. There are still men's and women's versions to account for bodily proportions and other social cues (like color and material), but the differences tend not to be of kind. However, this equality arises from the subjugated group (i.e. women) taking on characteristics of the dominant group (men), not the other way around. It was not a two-way street. Characteristics of the subjugated group, if possessed by members of the dominant group, seem out of place, inappropriate, and negative. (Men dressing as women, men being emotional, etc.)]]

So, even though a mesh sponge or sponge or loofah or shower pouf might sometimes be a convenient way to wash oneself in the shower, it's a gendered item. Women use shower poufs and loofahs. They are not butch. But Axe wants badly to market them to men. Bill O'Reilly (butch!) isn't even clear on what a loofah is, whether he should sexually harass women with it, or eat it in a Mediterranean restaurant. Ay, there's the rub. Axe has probably spent millions of dollars on ads that tell men that women will find them sexually attractive if they smell good (read: like Axe). Axe has been slowly pushing perfumed personal hygiene products on men--gently, so as not to scare them--for several years. The shower pouf seems a bit radical. Also, faggy? Butch guys do not want to seem faggy. They want to be sexually attractive to women, not other men! Axe has made it very clear that the scents contained in its products are engineered to be attractive to women. How do they solve this marketing predicament?

Fucking Detailer Shower Tool.

For those of you . . .

 . . . who (really fucking) hate Rosanne Barr: 

This may give you a chuckle.

This may cast you into a pit of despair so deep and so consuming it seems inescapable.

I would expect nothing more from a woman who grabs her crotch after singing the Star Spangled Banner at a professional baseball game.

Leave it to Rosanne Barr to keep it classy. (wink)

Korea's (got a) Giant Va-jay-jay

Half Dose #52: Ewha Womans University Campus Center

Seoul, Korea has erected a building at the Ewha Woman's University that ArchiDose "recalls the Velodrome & Pool he designed for Berlin", I would say severely undercuts the issue here. Not that there really is an issue here, but I'm not sure the Burj Dubai would fit in that thing. Seriously though, we have waaaay to many penis-resembling buildings.

Big props to Archidose.

ARE YOU PRO-SKUBB OR ANTI-SKUBB!?

Casper & Casper: The Real Initech

Thank sweet baby Jesus that school is starting soon, because I'm not sure how much more time I can spend in an office this summer. While I am thankful for the weekly paycheck, the time I have spent under the flourescent lights and between the filing cabinets has been quite enough, thank you very much.

For those of you who don't know, I was working at the small law firm of Casper & Casper (whose ad has graced the back cover of the phonebooks in the Cinci area for years) for the summer. I won't go into the details of the horrifying tediousness of my job as file clerk, but I will say that my time here has given me plenty of experience in "read this 558 page medical record and tell me when this guy had that surgery", "scan this", and "I need 24 copies of this by noon". 

One aspect of my job is to close and update files, which entails calling clients to ask them if anything in their often sad and pathetic lives has changed (for better or worse). I ask about new doctors, medications, tests, or if they have any questions about their claim, appeal, or hearing. Often, the clients don't know, or they do know and answer accordingly. But sometimes . . . sometimes I get someone who thinks they're too good to talk to a file clerk, someone who just wants his money, and, very rarely, someone who can't read the latest letter we've sent to them. These are the tough ones, but the ones I enjoy most, because, whether I laugh silently at them or help them read the letter in question, my day is made better.

And now, I believe I have provided enough context for my story.
The other day, I was calling a series of clients to discuss everything that I mentioned earlier. They all went without issue, and I finally worked my way down to the very last file of the day. I called the client, and this is the word for word dialogue that he and I shared on speaker phone:

"Hullo?"

"Hello, my name is Sara calling for Casper and Casper attorneys regarding your claim. Do you have a few minutes to talk, sir?"

"It's about fuckin' time you called me! Jesus, I've been waitin' around here forever waitin' to hear from SOMEONE."

(At this point, I turn to the rather cute law student paralegal with whom I share an office. He's already chuckling.)

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're doing the best we can to keep all of our clients up to date-"

"HK! HK!"

"I'm sorry?"

"HK!"

"Sir, would you mind answering a few questions, please? It will just take a moment."

"HK! HK!"

(It was at this point that I began to multitask and open Urban Dictionary to search for "HK." What the hell does HK mean?? I got several results, and came to the conclusion that this man was half-kidding about something, or calling me a man-eater. But neither really made sense. I decided to ignore it for that moment, and tried to see if he would answer something.)

"Have you been seeing any new doctors?"

"HK!"

"Are you on any new medications?"

"HK! HK! HK!"

(What the hell was this man saying? Cute Paralegal was laughing pretty hard now, and I was losing patience. I decided to go for the gold.)

"I'm sorry, sir, can you tell me what HK means?"

"HK! Who cares! HK! HK!"

(I raced to pick up the receiver and cover the speaker before Cute Paralegal and I burst into a fit of laughter. It was inappropriate, yes, but irresistible. I had learned earlier to never correct a client, so I left him to keep thinking "who cares" was spelled "hoo kares.")

"Sir, I care. We at Casper and Casper care."

"Bullshit!"

"If you would please just answer some questions with valid answers, we can  help you."

"What the hell is that s'posed to mean? You callin' my answer unvalid (sic)?"

"Sir, HK is not an answer."

"I don't care! HK! HK!"

"Thank you for your time, sir. We'll be sending you a letter regarding your case. Call us if you have any questions. 

You have our number?"

"HK!"

"Alright, then, have a nice day."

(It was, without a doubt, one of the funniest moments in my life, and I had to see how it would write.)

Joker + Real Estate Listing = win

Yes.

via

Mc Cain is Pirate!

I do not like to think of myself as knowing who I would like of the stupid men running for president. But I must say, that I'm beginning to hate Mc Cain. first off, his very famous celebrity ad is essentially mud throwing, something only the weak, and fearful do in my opinion. it means that he has nothing good to say about why he is worthy of the job, nor his plans once he gets there- mind you, none of them will happen, as we are not a dictatorship and the congress is still Democractic for the next year- good luck !
Anyway to add fuel to this very familliar fire, as an Ohio resident i get blessed to see this ad every time i turn on the television, let alone the olympics, you know that old yarn of brotherhood, peace and a sense of fair play. Never mind ad space is up to 750,000 . i would love to have just the funding of one ad!
and finally, John McCain is no better than the musical pirates that as, a GOP hes supposed to hate- oh wait, that's supposta! It seems his ad, not only uses images of celebrities like Paris or Britany, now hes on the RIAA's most wanted, or at least he should be. Wired has a great article on how much Mc Cain sucks- even more than what i said. I think we should so a photoshop contest or find one that shows either McCain as a pirate or a theif. Both look good on a resume of the next president.

I Get a Job, and Apple Rues the Day

So those of you who haven't heard yet, I got a job offer from Accenture programming in Java for the CalPERS. When I interviewed with my probable future boss, he seemed really chill and approachable. He mentioned he was just in Columbus (yes, that one) at OU, and I asked him what for: "It was a mission trip with my church." So there you have it.

Anyways, it looks like I have some pretty good perks - medical, dental, 401k, all the IKEA I can dream of... er, scratch that last one, I'm going to meet someone on a plane that will advise me to drink my own urine. So far, it looks like I'm going to have at least 18 days a year paid time off, so I'll probably be able to make it out for a little bit - in a while. I don't want them to get the wrong idea... yet. And I know none of you probably are looking for this, but Accenture has been such a pleasure to talk to through this entire thing that I just have to recommend them for anyone looking for their sort of gig. The CalPERS contract is a 6-year (4 years remaining) contract for the state of California, working on-site with real state employees.

Anyways, the real reason I chose to post this now was that I found out that Apple had a huge fire on their campus in Cupertino last night. Now I know what you're thinking - don't jump to conclusions, David. BUT I HAVE TO. Apple was a wretched hiring experience (from what I hear Ash and I went through similar stuff with our first prospective) which culminated in my not knowing for a good two weeks if they were planning on calling me back. (no, fuck it, I still don't know!)

So, without further ado Sara's favorite online IT newspaper reports on how the company which screwed with me has a three-alarm fire on the day that I got hired.

Oh, and if this seems too suspicious, I do have an alibi - I went out to dinner with the 'rents to FAT'S to celebrate while I assume this was going on.

So, apparently the Bible can't be used to entirely explain modern actions!?

Didn't even know this was going on, but... yay!

Via Pharyngula

Iggy Pop's Not so Hidden Message

While driving yesterday, I was listening to " the Sound" as is my wont when the dj made the comment that a song played previously was used in a cruise ship commercial, and the directors of said commercial were probably unaware of the content of the song. The song in question is Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life". It is a fun and bouncy song, and I've heard it on tv and else where a few times. Now as we all know, I can't hear lyrics worth a damn, and even more so when the singer is a punky British man. Thus my interest was piqued.

Here are the lyrics for your own personal reading pleasure. I happen to agree with the dj about the content and suitablity of cruiseship material, unless it has Cuba Gooding Jr. and Hortatio Sanz.

Here comes johnny yen again
With the liquor and drugs
And the flesh machine
Hes gonna do another strip tease.
Hey man, whered ya get that lotion?
Ive been hurting since Ive bought the gimmick
About something called love
Yeah, something called love.
Well, thats like hypnotizing chickens.

Well, Im just a modern guy
Of course, Ive had it in the ear before.
I have a lust for life
cause of a lust for life.

Im worth a million in prizes
With my torture film
Drive a gto
Wear a uniform
All on a government loan.
Im worth a million in prizes
Yeah, Im through with sleeping on the sidewalk
No more beating my brains
No more beating my brains
With liquor and drugs
With liquor and drugs.

Well, Im just a modern guy
Of course, Ive had it in my ear before
Well, Ive a lust for life (lust for life)
cause of a lust for life (lust for life, oooo)
I got a lust for life (oooo)
Got a lust for life (oooo)
Oh, a lust for life (oooo)
Oh, a lust for life (oooo)
A lust for life (oooo)
I got a lust for life (oooo)
Got a lust for life.

Well, Im just a modern guy
Of course, Ive had it in my ear before
Well, Ive a lust for life
cause Ive a lust for life.

Here comes johnny yen again
With the liquor and drugs
And the flesh machine
Hes gonna do another strip tease.
Hey man, whered ya get that lotion?
Your skin starts itching once you buy the gimmick
About something called love
Love, love, love
Well, thats like hypnotizing chickens.

Well, Im just a modern guy
Of course, Ive had it in the ear before
And Ive a lust for life (lust for life)
cause Ive a lust for life (lust for life)
Got a lust for life
Yeah, a lust for life
I got a lust for life
A lust for life
Got a lust for life
Yeah a lust for life
I got a lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life

A Silly Story (Or Two)

I was listening to NPR on the way to work, and they run a little program called Story Corp. every once in a while. If you're not familiar with the segment, it's basically a 3 minute break where the station plays a previously recorded story told by someone about an event in their life. The stories are often told by older people, so I love listening to them talk about "when they were younger". The story today was pretty funny, and the one a few days ago was very sweet, so I thought I'd share them both.

A woman (who is now in her 80s) had such a flat chest when she was a young woman that her mother bought her an inflatable bra to wear, for fear that she could never get a boyfriend (but imagine the surprise of the guy who got to second base . . .). She wore the bra at her mother's demand, and when she took a trip by plane, the bra popped. Everyone thought it was a bomb, and the crew made an emergency landing to strip-search the girl. The popped bra was found, and the embarrassment has since subsided into hilarity.

A husband and wife (93 and 87, respectively) met while he was working at her family's hotel for a summer. He reminisced about the "juicy bits" of their courtship, which included holding hands and their first kiss. They would watch the sunset every night, and have ice cream and long walks in the evening when he got off work. They shared a wonderful summer together, and, after a few months, he asked her to marry him. She said yes, and they both thought they were keeping a secret, only to find that everyone at the hotel already knew. They've been married for 65 years.

Virus Comics

Found this via this.

Simple, clean website, and the content: Awesome.

lulz

Gay Scientists Identify Christian Gene

Jim Ottovani and Scientific Comics

Via Pharyngula.
As best I can discern, these are comics about scientific discoveries in various fields but generally pretty sensational. Having just finished Watchmen, I can appreciate understand the appeal of documenting real-life events in an animated atmosphere. Gets those of us who don't like to read (or otherwise prefer a drawn image to an imagined one) and kids into real science besides the bullshit Stan Lee "radioactive spider" fuccrap.

Oh, and to continue my multimedia extravaganza, here's the Watchmen trailer. Every scene in the trailer is in the "book" - look for Dr Manhattan (he's blue - da da de da da dum) in Vietnam s'plodin' charlies.

and you thought creationists had problems

Remember the time when the plague was killing a tenth of your home town, and those dame heretics wouldn't just shut up? No? Well meet a group of people that appear to be still stuck in the "dark ages" * I thought that the fundamentalists or people who believe we live on a back of a turtle had problems.
* as a historian in training, I can't in good conscience call it that, there is nothing "dark" about the time between the Roman Empire and the early Renaissance. But that's another topic ....

For all of you lying liars.

This is the best five minutes I have ever spent on the internets. The end.

Oh, and you should probably read this unfortunately comical bit of information, too.