I just want to comment on something here. I know it's an end in/and/of itself but it still gets me really pissed sometimes.
I hate it when women blame their mood on their periods.
There. I said it. That felt good to get off my chest. At any rate, I'm not really sure I can offer a decent explanation for this one. I knew a few girls in high school who would blame shit on their hair color. Kirsten was awesome at math, for example. But whenever she got a below average thing going in any other class, she became the 'stupid blonde.' Stuff like that.
This new one's different though. I feel kinda, well, bad about feeling this way. Periods do change hormones, which - if i remember correctly - can impact pretty much anything in the body, so is it really far to exclude this as a valid reason? Placebo. Not this whole period thing, but maybe we've just been brought up expecting this sort of phenomenon to the point that it allows women - for whatever reason - to vent once a month. And anytime after 45yoa.
Anyways, I'm asking for more of a discussion between the people who actually have vaginas than my own stupid ramblings.
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There's a woman in my office who feels compelled to tell me whenever it's her "time of month" in case she "gets crazy." It makes me uncomfortable. I have a vagina and am still at a loss.
Dave, I hate it too. I hate that women use it as an excuse, I hate that it's acceptable for women to use as an excuse. I hate that men think it's an excuse, and I especially hate the suggestion that an emotional woman might simply be at the whim of her hormones, or "that time of the month" instead of maybe she's actually experiencing emotions.
That being said, I am the first person to rally against this sort of thing. And yet, despite my generally considering myself to be a completely rational being with knowledge of and explanations for my emotions, (OVERSHARE ALERT) every few weeks, I get really sad and cry really easily, and at the time, I rationalize it with, "wow, this movie's really sad," or "man, I'm getting really depressed" and like a week later, I get that ever-so-happy reminder of my ridiculous reproductive system's monthly turnover, and I look back at my weird and out-of-character emotionality and think, "ooooohhhhh! that makes sense."
Long and inappropriately personal story short, while I despise the notions that a) a person's emotions are not valid and should be dismissed if they are caused or exacerbated by "that time of the month" and b) that the general population believes in PMS so strongly that women and men use it as an excuse for anything.
I ended that comment with a dependent clause. Dave won't let me delete anything :)
while I despise the notions that a) and b), I have to admit that occasionally my o hormones might be responsible for my mood more than I realize or would like to admit.
Which isn't a bad thing. Hormones are ALWAYS involved in emotion. Testosterone and adrenaline for anger, testosterone for sexual desire, dopamine for pleasure/happy, etc.
I was blessed by Sweet Baby Jesus with short, light, distant visits from the Red Tide. (TMI? Probably.) Ergo, I can't really say that I've personally noticed any changes in my emotional stability or sensitivity during those times, but considering that I'm pretty mellow and relatively unexpressive to begin with, maybe a mood swing during that time would appear to be "normal" behavior for a girl.
I think that if science points to periods as a stigma for mood changes, then it would be hard to find grounds to invalidate it as a genuine reason. However, I agree with you, and Amanda. I think that women who come out and say, "I'm a bitch because I'm on my period," are using an inescapable thing to excuse their behavior, and I hate when they do it. They want pity and attention, and most importantly, they don't want anyone to get mad at them (God forbid!). I would never treat someone with more consideration if they told me that they were on their period, and that that was the ONLY reason for their increased sensitivity. Get over it! It's a sign that you have the grit and capability to BEAR A CHILD, for fuck's sake. You can and should be strong enough to overcome the week and not feel the necessity to tell everyone about it (if it's really that bad, which it probably isn't).
One of my professors last year went on a rampage when several girls in the class preceded their questions on the material with, "I know this is probably a stupid question, but . . ." My professor threw out some statistic, which I forget at this point, but basically informed us that men never say things like that, and women always do, in a subconscious effort to make themselves look stupid before anyone else can identify them as such. The goal, my professor said, is to attempt to show that they recognize their imagined stupidity so that no one can make fun of them when their "stupid" question is brought to the attention of everyone else, even if the person asking doesn't think it's stupid, and even if the question really is valid and sensible. I feel like it's a similar thing when women say, "I'm on my period, so . . ." It's like they feel the need to tell people so they won't be judged or accused of anything they can't control, even if the emotion is genuine.
(I'm trying to compare periods to "stupidity," and emotions to questions, if that rambling left anyone slightly confused . . .)
the only time i find a period as an excuse for a woman is when youre doubled over in pain, and meds aren't helping. then i can feel bad for someone. otherwise, its inconvient and not at all fun, but its just something to deal with and get over. It will be gone in 3-7 days, i think most people can manage. But i find the idea of PMS or PMT to be an excuse for women to validate the "inner bitch" as if this change in our bodies makes it ok for us to lose control of how we treat and respect others. Personally,( as everyone else has stories,) i usually get really angry and irrationally frustrated at the littlest things, ready to start a physical altercation, and wanting to, just to release some steam. this is when lots of death metal comes in handy. But i agree with the ideas that amanda and sara have. it is natural for emotions to change, but it should not be used as a crutch of poor social graces.
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