ftw obama's black????

I'm really bad with titles . . .

A few nights ago I had an as-of-recently rare evening with no social or scholastic obligations. Whenever I find myself with several hours and nothing to do, I invariably turn to my terabyte external hard drive, which houses a modest collection of about 350 movies.

The movie I chose to watch was "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," a movie that I've seen several times, though not for at least a year. I chose this title for no particular reason, and even debated whether or not I wanted such a dramatic and tragic film to help me relax. For the most part, it is the film's ending that brought me to write this post. I'm not sure how many of you have seen this movie, or what you remember of it, but the last scene is one that I find incredibly disturbing on a level that extends well beyond the actual moment. (I'm afraid to write spoilers, but I'm sure that if you don't know what I'm talking about you're intrigued enough to seek out the movie and see it for yourself.)

To get to the point of my post, this ending has a strong effect on me every time I watch it, but my reaction now is not nearly as overwhelming as it was the first time I saw it. My initial viewing of the movie left me in tears for hours, and I was so disturbed and sickened by the fate of McMurphy that I actually vomited. (The base of my reaction was much deeper than simply seeing McMurphy, but to philosophize on that would take more time than I can give at the moment.) As I said, I no longer have such reactions to the film. I cry, of course, but only for a few well-controlled minutes, which I think is probably the normal reaction. But watching it a few nights ago made me think of that first time and also made me wonder if any other movie had elicited such an intense and consuming reaction from me.

I couldn't think of any, but I wonder if any of you have had any similar responses to anything in movies, or other media for that matter. I don't mean similar as in necessarily negative, but similar in terms of intensity. Has anything you've watched in movies, read in literature, seen in art, or heard in music struck you in such a powerful and particular way that you are forced to succumb to (what was for me) an uncontrollable emotion?

Er...what?

Nancy Cartwright is the voice of Bart Simpson. Nancy Cartwright is from Kettering, Ohio. Nancy Cartwright is a Scientologist. Nancy Cartwright is coming to a local high school, Ohio to do a radio theater play with the high school's thespians to support the school district

The play they are performing is "If I Were You" by L. Ron Hubbard.

Maybe he was a great science fiction writer. Perhaps this particular text has absolutely nothing to do with Scientology.

I still have a big problem with this.

On Bodies

I like watching volleyball. It's only minimally because I like the sport.

So, the AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour plasters temporary tattoos of its corporate sponsors on the athletes' bodies. Shoes, energy drinks, sports medicine, fruit juice, rum, and hotel chains. I find this disturbing. I understand that volleyball players are more scantily-clad than most other athletes, and the lack of clothing offers less ad space. Putting your company name on a jersey you made or provided money to make is one thing. Branding athletes is another. I just feel like bodies should be off-limits.

Oh, and also, I was just informed I'm watching The "2009 AVP CROCS™ CUP CHAMPIONSHIP KENTUCKY GRILLED CHICKEN™ CHICAGO OPEN."

Why I hate the internet (and the world generally)

I will partially reproduce with comments this conversation below I happen to be in a similar situation currently:

1) Is is possible to run the Windows version of R across all four processors?

2) I was under the impression that R for Linux supported multi-threading by default. Am I correct in this assumption? If not, is it possible for Linux R to multi thread, and how do I go about configuring this?

It seems reasonable to be asking an R reading list questions about whether or not the R framework can work in parallel, but we get this response:

> 1) Is is possible to run the Windows version of R across all four
> processors?

No.

That's it. I'm not truncating here for the sake of proving a point. The guy just disregards the question entirely.

Continuing the response:

> 2) I was under the impression that R for Linux supported multi-threading by
> default. Am I correct in this assumption? If not, is it possible for Linux R
> to multi thread, and how do I go about configuring this?

Your impression/assumption is wrong.

Taking someone's obviously false misconception and ignoring the obviousness of the question but instead, INSTEAD, throwing it back in their face with an assault on their reasoning ability! BOOYAH!

A few emails later (after an interesting argument about how C works):

> Will snow be anyway useful for this, or multithreading must be made
> explicit (I don't know how) within the C code, or there is nothing we can
> do?

Please do your own homeork on what snow (etc) do, and how multithreaded
BLAS work (and the ones I am familiar with are C code and use pthreads --
OpenMP is another possibility).

I get it that he's British. I get that he's a stats prof. I get that he works at Oxford. But seriously, why does he insist on reading the R boards and then only respond with asinine remarks? If you're too busy to help people find information about this software package, maybe you shouldn't spend the time to get on and flame them. Seriously, that last email was basically "I'm emailing you to tell you I can't email you."

I hate trolls. Here's the closest thing I've come to understanding them:

Ridiculous

THATS A NEW ONE!

Murder in my neighborhood?

Now I have told one of you about the news from a few streets over. Just incase you don't get local news- THIS-is all anyone can talk about. In the news, it sounds like a guy killed his wife and hid the remains in the garbage, using bleach to clean up, and also reported his wife missing to make himself look innocent.

Here is my question, is this media bias towards sensationalism? Probably. Should friends and neighbors assume the wife is dead because she is missing, and remains ( thought not publicly proven to be hers have been found) Does suspicious evidence like bleach bottles mean that he used it to destroy evidence. As of last night, the man in question was not held on murder charges, but harming official business and the like. So should we read into what the news says and form our own opinion, or should we try to wait and see what the evidence shows. I keep thinking in my head, innocent till proven guilty. However I may try I am finding it very hard to hope this is not the way it looks. I keep hoping the wife will turn up, and everything will be fine. that area has one large cemetery near by and a smaller one. Who knows what may or may not have happened.

As if trying to hope of a good out come and believing the best in people is not enough, there is the chilling fact that this is just a few streets over, for those that know, on the other side of the park from me. My grandpa is buried in the cemetery down the street, I drive the street in question and pass that house at least once a week. Violence is common in our world. Murder rates are high in cities. And while i did not know these people personally, it is forcing me to realize just how much we can never know or guess about others and the human condition.

I get a lot of songs stuck in my head*. It happens a couple of ways. One is that the lyrics and music will repeat themselves in my head, like I'm subconsciously singing it to myself. The other way is that I will actually hallucinate that I am hearing the song. It's happening right now. It doesn't happen in silence, but when there's white noise around. I'm really hearing something, but my brain molds those sounds into this particular song I was listening to a few minutes ago.

How did that song get stuck in my head? It popped into there because I saw the word "recompense." That threw me into the line "If it's time to recompense for what's done." Do you recognize it? I didn't. It's a Nick Drake song. From The Royal Tenenbaums. I don't have the song, but it's prominent in the movie and easy to hear.

Oddly enough, I don't usually notice the music in movies unless it's in the forefront or my attention is artificially drawn to it. I suppose you generally shouldn't notice the music, or at least the score, unless the filmmaker does it deliberately to add meaning. I don't know, I've never studied film.

However, in the course of my detective work in trying to figure out what song it was, I found this website which discusses the music in that film and the extra layer(s) of meaning it provides. I happen to love the film, and if you don't that's okay, but the way music is selected to provoke exactly the right emotional reaction has always fascinated me, and it's sort of about that.

* Obsessive-compulsive to the max, but at least there's always music in my life.

UM?

Harry Potter and the amazing girls who saw it

since at least 3 of us have seen harry potter i thought all would enjoy this article. its the wired story of the special effects used. its pretty frickin sweet.
post out.

Necissity, need and the cost of value

Recently, I went shopping. I needed dress shoes for 2 weddings coming up in my family. So I decided I wanted something pretty and comfortable, as well as well built. Most of my shoes that I do own are really cheap. So I proceeded to be seduced, there really is not another word for these 4 inch leather heels by Ralph Lauren down from 90 to 60. blinded by beauty, craft and overall comfort, I purchased them with little thought.
It was only when I came home I realized i paid 70 with tax on a pair of shoes. 70, when I am desperately saving for a new( er) car before fall. ( long story but the car I'm driving now doesn't have a defroster/ working air vent)
After much panic, guilt, and almost crying; mostly at Amanda, I realized these are just a pair of shoes, and I can take them back, get a full refund and have no problem. Then, I found some spare cash that almost equaled the cost of the shoes. Now, the thought is to deposit this into the bank and use it to pay the bill for them, thus rationalizing the cost and value of the shoes.
Now, I find it terribly amusing that finding cash I didn't know I had ( I love when this happens, don't you?) can be justification to keep something I had prior decided as not worth the cost. What gives something value? Is it craftsmanship, want, desire, aesthetics, or is it something else all together?
What can we use to assign value? And where is it just impulse purchases or when is it an investment. Is Pleasure of object or ownership quantifiable?

the origin of love

I haven't seen this movie in about four years, but earlier today someone who had never seen the movie was explaining this "origin of love" story to me, and I had to direct her to this video:




It's such a compelling story, and I actually saw it in this move before I really knew anything about Plato, but the fact that it's been around for at least 2300 years makes me like it more. It reminds me of why humans created mythologies in the first place. Also, I'm very, very glad the Phonecians gave the Greeks an alphabet so they could write things down.

Also, Hedwig's hott. I'd forgotten.

Can you guess what's wrong here?

Alright, a little bit closer, then:




Oh, Windows. All this time I've been supporting you... and now this?

no me alcanzará la vida

He terminado de leer Crónica de una muerte anunciada por Gabriel García Márquez en español. Lo recomiendo.

I've finished reading Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel García Márquez in Spanish. I recommend it (in translation if you must). It's quite short--little more than 100 pages.

Reading a book in a second language is like unwrapping a present on Christmas morning. Very very slowly...bashing it open forcefully with a dictionary. Or, if you're Forrest Gump, it's like putting an unknown chocolate in one's mouth. There are surprises, and they're even more thrilling because of the work one must put in to understand what's happening. My favorite little gift of a passage so far:

Magdalena Oliver had come with him on the ship and could not get rid of the image. "He looked gay," she told me. "And it was a shame because I wanted to smear him with butter and eat him up alive." She was not the only one to think it, nor the last to realize that Bayardo San Román was not a man one could know at first sight.

Incidentally, it appears that Spanish has at least a half dozen words for "dawn," and I like it. Also for "fear."

I suspended disbelief while I was reading it, but now I don't have to anymore. I must point out that the entire plot of the book hinges on a few facts:

1. All women have hymens.
2. A woman without a hymen is not a virgin.
3. Bloody sheets or it didn't happen.

Fuck virginity. But it was still a good book.

Another True Story

As some of you may or may not know, I'm taking several courses for summer school to get some requirements out of the way. All of them are at Miami Middletown, for no reason other than that the classes I wanted were not offered anywhere else. All of my three classes are introductory courses and very small with no more than 10 students in each. In all but one of these classes I am both the youngest member and the only student with Oxford for a home campus. Based on conversations I have heard and had with my classmates, I also seem to be one of the only ones who doesn't smoke two packs a day, doesn't have a family member in jail, and doesn't have at least one child. In my history class, one woman gets up every 15 minutes to light a cigarette, one woman doesn't vote because she "was brought up being taught that women shouldn't be allowed to", one 24-year-old has three children with three different men, and one man doesn't work because the money he receives from Social Security for his son's cancer is "enough to get by". We were discussing Andrew Jackson's "spoils system" today, and the instructor mentioned "aristocracy", and we proceeded to spend 15 minutes discussing the word because no one in class knew what it meant. Some didn't know what a passport is, or that Obama is a Democrat.

Am I a bad person because I judge these people? Because I see myself as a better person? I know hardly anything about them, and certainly nothing about the context of their situations, but even if I did, would it be right to judge them? My family is affluent, we speak properly, we don't have bad habits, we're intelligent and sensical, we respect each other, we take responsibility, we seek out knowledge, and we know about and participate in a world that extends beyond our backyard.

But does that make us better or worth more as people? Does anything make one human better than another? Is this perhaps a topic better suited for a face-to-face conversation?

fascinating

This is interesting. It's a visual representation of job loss/gain since January 2004 in major cities all over the country.

Caution: it's the diameter of the circles, not the area. It's potentially visually misleading.

True Story

Let's jump right in:

In Ancient Greece, there were no lawyers. So if you wanted to sue someone, you had to present your case yourself after taking a class on "how to argue". A student decides to enroll in such a class, even though there is no one he wants to sue, even though he is not being sued, and even though he has no money to pay the instructor. The student approaches the instructor with this offer: "I will pay you your fee when I win my first case." The instructor accepts the offer, and proceeds to provide the student with the necessary information so that he may learn how to argue.

The lessons come to a close. The instructor teaches the student all he needs to know about arguing and sends him on his way with a friendly reminder of his promise to him: "Remember, our deal was that you will pay for my services when you win your first case."

Several months go by. The student has yet reimburse the instructor, not because he has lost every case, but simply because he has not had one yet. He has not taken or been taken to court. The instructor, growing impatient and suspicious, confronts the student. "It has been months and you have yet to pay me. I need your fees right now. If you refuse to pay me, I will take you to court, and regardless of the court's ruling, you will be required to pay me."

"What's your reasoning?" asks the student.

"Well," replies the instructor, "if I take you to court and the court orders that you pay me, then by law you are required to do so. But if the court does not order that you pay me, then that means you have won the case, and based on our agreement, you have to pay me."

The student laughs. "On the contrary," he says. "If you take me to court and the court orders that I don't have to pay you, then I am free from any obligation. But if the court does order me to pay you, then you have won the case and I have lost it, and since I have lost and not won, per our agreement, I am not required to pay you."

I realize that this conflict is easily resolved, but I love paradoxes. And you should, too.

I need some help with this.

I've seen this at least twice now:


If we keep the American convention of writing the time hh:mm:ss and the date mm/dd/yy, we'll have 04:05:06:07:08:09 and
05:06:07:08:09:10 and so on until
09:10:11:12:13:14
Then, we have to wait until
01:02:03:04:05:[21]06

Exactly the same sequence in the picture above will reoccur at 5 minutes and 6 seconds after 4 am on the 8th of July in 2109.

Also, why not list date/time in either ascending or descending unit size? i.e. ss:mm:hh, dd/mm/yy

Then, it's 5 minutes and 4 seconds after 6 am on August 7th, 2009. 04:05:06 07/08/09

or yy/mm/dd hh:mm:ss on 10/09/08 07:06:05

or the non-American hh:mm:ss dd/mm/yy -- 04:05:06:07:08:09 at 5 minutes and 6 seconds after 4 am on the 7th August 2009.

Not to mention it happens every hour on those dates given enough time zones.

Am I mistaken? Have I been taking crazy pills? Do people think when they read?

J-to-the-HOVAH

Yesterday I was at a laundromat reading My Name is Red (great book, go read it), when a man who was a bit overdressed for a laundromat walked in and said good morning to me. I said a cheerful good morning back, and then he offered me "something to read" that "might be interesting." I almost reached for it, but when I saw that it was a Watchtower, I recoiled in horror.

Another day, I might have politely accepted the proffered proselytization and then promptly thrown it away, but yesterday morning I decided I wasn't going to take it lying down, so to speak, and protested proudly, "No, Thank You."

He looked at me suddenly, surprised and slightly offended. "Well, thank you," he replied with a curious amount of emphasis on the last word. I think "thank" might have been a euphemism here. After that, he left.

Oddly enough, it was my first encounter with a Jehovah's Witness not in my family (afaik). Do you all have any interesting proselyte stories? Any opinions about the best response to these people and their gods?

EDIT: OMG I just spent about an hour tracking down a video. All I could remember is that I had seen a scene somewhere of two cops harassing Jehovah's Witnesses, and I couldn't even remember which sketch comedy show it was. Turned out to be Reno 911. I can't find an embeddable link. Season 1, Episode 2 for anyone who wants to look for it.

I've been journaling, in a real hard bound journal. A lot. my fingers are stained with ink. Its refreshing writing that much by hand. I don't think I have that much since highschool. Now as it is me, its full of nonsense, non narrative prose, full of doodles flourishes with pen and ink, and not a little blood from paper cuts.
I really like blank pages to write in, even if it is just paged and paged of words. Lined paper always makes me sad. When ever I go to a book store, I check out their journals, and look for blank ones. so far in my life I have filled 5. right now it is a bright blue book hand made in nepal. the paper is bumpy and a delightful shade of sandy buff with swirls of white matter. I like it. i think it makes me think of things differently, than say if it was just a composition notebook.
Also I can write in perfectly straight lines with ink and quil on a pillow on my bed and not spill a drop.
I need to write some more plans and thoughts. Get ideas out of swirling in my head to somewhere else.
back to the book? or back to bedlam?